Sorry for the language, but I really don't think a 'kinder' word would be appropriate here.
It came to light this morning, after a conversation with my friend, that I am WAITING for my husband to fail so I can rant and rave and go all 'psycho-bitch' on him.
See, my birthday is coming up in a couple weeks, and Hubby does not have a very good track record there. Last year was the first time *EVER* that I not only received a really nice gift from him (my iPad) but received it ON TIME. He's just not good about things like that - at least not WITH ME. Certain other people get realy nice gifts ON TIME every year from him, but I guess I just don't rate. This is why I was so pissed about Valentine's Day this year, because I really needed him to put in a little extra effort, and instead got even LESS effort than usual. In fact his only acknowledgement of the holiday at all was to give me an empty excuse a few days ahead, his usual, "whatever I get you for Valentine's Day is going to be late". Well, here I am over two months later, and STILL no token of his undying love for me. Not even a card.
Yeah, I feel loved. *ahem* NOT.
So, I was talking with a girlfriend this morning, and she asked me what I asked Hubs to get me for my birthday. I told her if he has ANY sense in his head he will check out my amazon.com wishlist, but that I honestly doubt he will even REMEMBER my birthday. Then I told her (somewhat gleefully, though I am ashamed to admit that) that I am HOPING he forgets......and then we both cackled like witches and joked about all the ways I can hurt him back if that happens.
I never knew I could be so horrible! The crap that came spewing out of my mouth this morning in this stupid hypothetical-revenge brainstorming session was worthy of a trashy reality TV show....."Heartless Bitches and the Men They Torture" or some such nonsense. It would get huge ratings, just for the train-wreck factor; you would flip through the channels and this show would come on and you would NOT be able to look away, no matter how horrifying. Like Toddlers & Tiaras.
Anyway, now that I realize what a complete and utter Bitch I have become, what should I do about it? I mean, I fully believe that the main reason Hubby tends to be so careless/thoughtless with me is because I let him, but I feel like I should at least give the poor guy a chance...maybe send him an email with the link to my Amazon wishlist? Or perhaps throw a post-it note reminder on his calendar to note my birthday?
What would you do?
**edit: I just re-read this, and it might come across that I want/expect some kind of perfect gift - this is NOT the case. I would literally be thrilled with a thoughtful card, or a list of ten things he loves about me, or whatever. Its the THOUGHT that counts, seriously.**