Wednesday, April 13, 2011

Music Linkup, week 8

Have you linked up with Amber at Goodnight Moon yet?

This week's music post is dedicated to Jessica, over at {Mis}Adventures of an Army Wife.  If you missed the story earlier this week, Jessica has been struggling with some serious emotional trauma, and she made plans to take her own life & wrote a goodbye post/AKA suicide letter on her blog.  Thankfully she *IS* alive and getting help, and we are all praying she will make a full recovery.

Since we've opened the topic of Suicide, I have an interesting story to tell...but go ahead and click 'play' first so you can enjoy this song while you read:

If you've kept up with my blog, you know that my husband returned from deployment four months ago, and has not been himself ever since.  I am pretty sure he has PTSD, but he refuses to get diagnosed/treated.  About 3 1/2 weeks ago, he received a phone call out of the blue from a former colleague - a guy he hasn't seen in at least 8 years, maybe more like 10 years.  This friend asked my hubby to put together a funeral detail for other words, the guy was suicidal.  They talked on the phone for HOURS (odd for my hubs because he hates talking on the phone) and by the time they hung up, his friend was feeling better, and agreed to call and check in with Jarhead the next day.  They've talked a few more times since then, and his friend seems to have a better perspective on things now.

The significant part about this incident is not that hubby talked him down; it is that, within a few hours after that initial phone call, I began to see little bits of *MY HUSBAND* showing through.  Somehow, being needed (by someone besides me or the kids) seemed to really pull him out of his shell.  Or maybe it was a 'mirror' for hubby, who had hinted at some suicidal thoughts of his own a few weeks earlier.  Perhaps he didn't like what he saw in that 'mirror' and was suddenly motivated to change?

Either way, it has brought about some serious changes here. 

We are still not in the clear, but hubby (finally) returned to work later that week, after three months of being at home.  [he is a reservist, and his civilian employer encouraged him to burn through some of his accrued vacation time before coming back to work, since it will be tough to get any vacation approved now that he is back on the schedule].  He started working out at the gym every day, like he used to.  He even jokes around with me sometimes, the way he used to.  The intimacy thing has gotten a little better, too. 

We still have a long way to go, but I am cautiously optimistic about the outcome now.  I have felt so lost and alone through this whole process, and so many times I myself was feeling hopeless and helpless, and had those awful dark thoughts, imagining what it would be like to end it all. 

Now I have more hope,
and am SO HAPPY
that I found the strength to
"Hold on for one more day"
a hundred or so times.

If you are also in that dark, desolate place that Jessica is fighting her way back from, PLEASE, just hold on.  Call someone, maybe even someone you haven't talked to in years.  If nothing else, EMAIL ME and we can exchange numbers and talk about it.  You are NEVER truly alone.

Hold on for one more day.


Marine Wife Unplugged said...

Wow, this hit home for me. My husband went through something VERY similar, as you probably know by now through my blog. I don't think I need to say anything more than this, but I have just one more thought: I am thankful for you, and I am honored to be able to read a sincere praise report. They are few and far between. I can tell you're deeper than the average Jane (I'd say Joe... but, ya know... you're a woman after all). I respect you guys a lot. <3

Mrs. O said...

I am a new follower from the link up. Thanks for sharing this and great song. I will keep you all in my prayers.

Goodnight moon said...

WOW! I'm so glad to hear that he helped a friend very much in need. He saved his life! That is completely awesome! And like you said, maybe he saw himself and not only did he talk sense into his friend with that phone call, but he also talked sense into himself without even knowing it. I'm so glad to hear that things are getting better for you, your hubs and your family! Little by little!

I have always loved this song! I remember blaring it in the kitchen when I would do the dishes after dinner. Now I will think of you when I hear this song:)

Thanks for sharing so much with us Gaile!

Ashley D. said...

What an amazing story, and to see that helping someone else really brought some positive changes in your husband! I hope your husband continues to get better. This was a great song choice!

Amanda said...

Love the song choice & so glad things are looking up for you all now. PTSD is no Joke & we live it everyday in our home. Some days are worse then others- but I definitely feel like we are just hanging on to the end of the rope.

Birdie said...

Your honest description of you and your hubby's issues post-deployment is much appreciated. My hubs is a reservist too, and we've dealt with similar things for the past year. I'm glad you have hope now! Life can be so dark without it

Samantha said...

Great song choice and thank you for sharing this story! I pray your husband gets better with time.

Nicole Marie said...

I am glad that your husband had the chance to talk with his friend and pull out of his own feelings. I will keep your husband in my thoughts. What a great song for ALL of us in the military world. Thank you for sharing!

Jenn said...

I am happy your husband was able to talk his friend through his issues and in turn helping himself. It is good to hear things are looking up. I love this song and it fits perfect for you :)
Keep your head up hun and don't let go!

♥Miss Brittney♥ said...

Thank you for sharing your story with us Gaile. I'm so glad things are getting better for you and your husband. I wish you both the best of luck! And I also love, love, love this song! My Mom totally had the Wilson Phillips tape and my sisters and I used to listen to it over and over again! lol :)

Beth said...

GREAT post...and I LOVE this song.

Semper Fi Momma said...

New follower from the song link up. Love this song, ALWAYS makes me smile. :) Heart goes out to you and yours. I always think those who share these very personal stories are brave, and it's appreciated. :)

Post a Comment!

Thanks for dropping in!

Template c/o Designs Etc.