DISCLAIMER - this post may suddenly disappear if any of hubby's family finds my blog (I'm trying to VENT, not start more ugly drama)
I get along with my husband's parents. Kinda. Sorta.
We had a little emergency come up here at home that hubby just can't deal with from deployment-land, so he called BOTH of his parents for help. His parents have been divorced for 25 years - they each live a little over an hour from me, and about an hour apart from each other. (triangle-ish) Both have basically botched important things he's asked them to take care of in the past, so I am still not sure why hubby would turn to EITHER of them, let alone BOTH of them for help this time....but that is beside the point.
The problem I have with their involvement in this particular emergency is that I feel so JUDGED by them both - and I know I shouldn't care what they think of me, but I still do. It might not be so bad if hubby had not bad-mouthed me TO his parents for the first ten years we were together. I know what he has told them (some of it true, some of it fabricated, but all of it spoken only to garner sympathy for himself) and I know what they both think of me, as a result of it. Of course he complains about his parents to ME all the time, too, and though I try to be 'fair' with people, I honestly have let his rants color my opnion of his parents, too.
The thing is, I feel so wronged by my hubby here - I have certainly never told MY family (or his, for that matter) about some of the stupid and hurtful things he has done over the years - in fact, I kept that information from my parents specifically BECAUSE I didn't want them to hate him (even when I did hate him for whatever offense I had just found out about). Hubby, on the other hand, didn't seem to care if his parents and his sisters hated me, and yet now is totally fine with the fact that HE is half a world away, and when I am in a pickle here, the only people he can/will call to help me in his stead already think I am lower than dirt.
Am I wrong to be pissed off at hubby for putting me in this situation?
Am I wrong for letting it get to me, like this? I feel so...humiliated. Like me needing their help right now somehow proves that everything he ever said about me being selfish, incompetent, stupid, whatever, must all be true. In their eyes, anyway.
I don't want to fight with hubby (especially not via a static-filled phone line, or worse, over email). We get so little time to talk as it is. I just feel like crap right now, about everything. I hate needing anyone's help, so there is THAT on top of my other insecurities.
Being all pregnant/hormonal/crazy sure as hell is not helping matters here right now.