I've dealt with so much DRAMA in the past week, it was like every woman I knew (and many that I don't know, and don't CARE to know!) were all PMS-ing at the same time.
FRG stuff, friend stuff, Facebook stuff, and even Blog stuff.
I blogged just a couple days ago about "Semper Spouse", a blog just for Marine Wives. It was started by a few (four, I think?) Marine Wife Bloggers to inspire, support, and bring together the blog community of Marine Wives. Those same organizers shut it down overnight, because of an irresponsible (poorly worded?) post written by one of the group's founders yesterday. Or rather, because of the outrage that said post inspired in the blogging community.
Her post was about OPSEC, and if you actually did read the whole thing, YES her point of view was wrong/short-sighted/narrow-minded/selfish, but I was struck more by the 100+ mean and nasty comments that she got. My own comment to her told her what I was pretty sure she needed to hear (and this was later confirmed)....that I understand her frustration with OPSEC, and I hate it too - but I do follow it anyway. It goes against everything in me to keep my mouth shut about ANYTHING, so following OPSEC is that much harder for me. I get it. I think it would have been easier for other readers of the blog to 'get it' if she hadn't included the inflammatory stuff at the end, about the big "middle finger to OPSEC" etc. but still...I did read the ENTIRE post, and I got what she was trying to say. She was FRUSTRATED, and was reaching out for support in the only way she knew how.
And before you all freak out on me like you did on Semper Spouse yesterday, I DO UNDERSTAND THE IMPORTANCE OF OPSEC!!!!! I RESPECT IT FOR WHAT IT IS, and if anyone else's lack of respect for OPSEC ever hurt - or even inconvenienced my husband and his unit, I would hunt that girl down.....
Also, my dear husband absoultely understands what a blabbermouth he married, so he is very careful about what details he even shares with me, not wanting to put me in a position of responsibility if he isn't sure I can handle it.
I will say that I have gotten better at this over the years, but still - it is just not in my nature to keep quiet. Hence the blog. Not just one, but TWO for right now! This one, for all things deployment-related, and my pregnancy blog, chronicling my current pregnancy.
But, seriously girls, if you all wanted to get your own point across to "Alpha Wife" from Semper Spouse, did you really have to get so mean and nasty about it? I get that you were all mad - and rightfully so - at her careless attitude about this. I just was more-than-a-little embarrassed to think that for a moment I would ever be lumped in with the catty, no, downright BITCHY group of women I witnessed in yesterday's attack via the comments on Semper Spouse.
Some of those throwing names and foul language at her (in excess) were my own blog followers.
I did note 2 or 3 'tactful' responses from some of the bloggers I happen to follow and love, and they were able to express their disapproval of the POINT OF VIEW without actually calling this girl names or insulting her, her husband, or his command. To those few, THANK YOU for being tactful. I am pretty sure she got your point, as indicated in the dozens of apologies that she posted on that same comments page before it was permanently shut down.
To the rest, YOU OUGHT TO BE ASHAMED OF YOURSELVES! Your bitchy behavior, in the name of 'being supportive' did not reflect well on any of your husbands, and I pray that none of my sweet boys grows up to marry catty and mean girls like you!
Now, let the comment flurry begin. (but can we please keep this round TACTFUL and respectful?)
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7 comments:
This is exactly why I did NOT comment on that blog post. I too also thought that some very harsh words were thrown at her. I am not going to go into all my thoughts and feelings on the post, because this is why I kept my comments to myself. But for people to say such rude and horrible things to her was NOT in the least bit right. You can put your point across without having to throw name calling into the mix...along with cusing.
This is what drove me to write my post today.
Gaile,
I did read Alpha Wife's blog post about OPSEC. I didn't comment but I did have an opinion that I chose to keep to myself. I chalked up her 'juvenile' post to her immaturity, much like an adolecent temper tantrum about OPSEC. Some of her words were concerning, especially to those of us with deployed husbands, fathers, sisters, brothers, etc..I hope that in some way she has retreated to take a good look at the meaning of OPSEC and how it directly impacts her life.
You are right to say she should not have been attacked in such a vicious way - or her husband or his command. This behavior goes way beyond reason and flies in the face of supporting our own!
Come'on MilSpouses...who are we to throw stones?!
I completely agree! Riding the Roller Coaster had the right approach with trying to suede her to NOT give out any information rather than lowering ourselves to her level in her post. I am sure we have ALL been in her situation before where we have felt completely alone and frustrated knowing we can't talk about anything that goes on with their deployment, I know I have, and there is a way to reach out and not reach out to people. While her approach was wrong, I do not feel as though her emotions were wrong because who are we to judge someone else's feelings. I too didn't comment because I feel as though it would have been lost in the hype of everyone else lowering themselves to call her names and make her feel worse than she probably already did.
Thanks girls, I probably could have kept my opinion to myself about yesterday's meanness if it had not resulted in Semper Spouse shutting down. I'm so sad, especially because I have had so many moments during this deployment that I could NOT have made it through without support from the milspouse blog community, and I saw SS as a fabulous extension of this blog family. Oh, and I had submitted a friday feature for SS (guess I can post it here later?)... Oh yeah, and I wanted to win the giveaway for deployed. :) oh well.
The other reason I felt that I had to blog about this today was the sheer volume of DRAMA that has been swirling around for the past week or so. Overwhelming.
I happened to read it on google cache (it's out there if people know how to look). Really, I think her attitude will change when her own husband is deployed and realizes that her words do have the power to effect him, quite negatively. She's just not there yet. For every 1 spouse I find that respects opsec, I find 10 more who don't. When my husband was heading out of the mob station to the sand, the facebook posts were flying - from the wives, and from the guys - "hey, we're leaving at XXX PM, flying to XX and then to XXX and finally to XXX". So to gang up on her the way many leaving comments did, seems a bit self-righteous in lots of ways.
I have also read her follow-up apology and it makes more sense about where she was when she made that post. All she wanted was one spouse to say "I understand". And as a mil community, I think we failed, badly.
I'm not defending her position - not in the least - I wish more people took OPSEC seriously and I find it dangerous and sad that they don't. But that post and those comments brought out something dangerous and sad as well, something that I think we also need to take more seriously. That is, how we give each other what each needs at that moment.
TAW ....exactly what I was trying to say here! Thank you!
We as HUMAN BEINGS need to stick together, and I find it frightening how quickly we all turn against one another. Isn't that how wars begin?
I am not a marine spouse but saw what all went on and didn't comment either. I agree though, name calling, cussing, etc. didn't have to be used. To me they were out of line. I appreciate your mature approach to saying to her to value OPSEC but not insulting her. Good job. I enjoy your blog.
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