Saturday, May 15, 2010

So lost without him!

I always feel so strong when my hubby gets back from a deployment, you know - "Wow, I can't believe I was STRONG enough to make it through THAT!"

But during deployment, I feel so incredibly WEAK.

So completely lost without my husband.

My teenager, AKA "Bonehead" came home today after spending a week being SPOILED ROTTEN at my parents' house.  He was still very upset about being grounded, so we sat down to talk about how he could 'earn' his privileges back - one at a time, or all at once, depending on how hard he wanted to work at it.  I tried to be calm and rational with him, and he got more and more worked up over how I don't listen to him, and how I just don't understand how hard it is for him to do his household the end, he decided the only way to get his point across to me was with a baseball bat.


Police were called, no one was seriously hurt, and Bonehead is now back with my parents....undoubtedly being spoiled rotten again.

And I have lost YET ANOTHER child to deployment.  Even if he wanted to come back here to stay, there is no way I can risk my own safety, or the safety of my unborn child and my 10 year old, just to have this volatile teenager in my home.  No matter how much I love Bonehead, I literally can't let him back in my house.

How is it that I can hold everything together (and make it look EASY!) when hubby is around, but the minute he is gone, everything falls apart?

I really am just SO LOST without my husband.


BryceandWhit said...

Im so sorry to hear how you son is acting towards you... You will be in my thoughts and prayers...

Miss Em said...

I know as a civilian that this may seem to you as a military wife to be a very dumb question but maybe not...

Is there not someone within the Army that could sit your son down and talk to him about what is really bothering him about his Dad being deployed? Maybe a Sargent or higher.

It is not something that you have done or not done.

It just maybe all the anger he has bottled up inside because his Dad left and he is feeling trapped as the "man in the house" with a new one on the way.

Just a civilian with a thought that hopefully may help you in some small way.

No matter what you do what you believe is right in order to keep you, "knucklehead" and the Baby safe.

Soldier's Wife said...

I do understand what you are going through, I watched my mother and brother go through this same thing. One was always saying no one listened and the other had no blame what so ever.

Maybe you should really step back and look into the situation as the 3rd party. You may not be truly listening. The boy is hurting and it seems to be trying to be calm and being calm with are two different things. Maybe you should reevaluate how you talk to him and deal with him I am sorry but its not just him making things difficult between the two of you.

that being said your family is in my prayers and I pray that you go to military onesource and find some people to help.

Wife on the Roller Coaster said...

I am so sorry about your son. I can't imagine what you are going through, but you will be in my thoughts and prayers.

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