I always feel so strong when my hubby gets back from a deployment, you know - "Wow, I can't believe I was STRONG enough to make it through THAT!"
But during deployment, I feel so incredibly WEAK.
So completely lost without my husband.
My teenager, AKA "Bonehead" came home today after spending a week being SPOILED ROTTEN at my parents' house. He was still very upset about being grounded, so we sat down to talk about how he could 'earn' his privileges back - one at a time, or all at once, depending on how hard he wanted to work at it. I tried to be calm and rational with him, and he got more and more worked up over how I don't listen to him, and how I just don't understand how hard it is for him to do his household chores.....in the end, he decided the only way to get his point across to me was with a baseball bat.
Police were called, no one was seriously hurt, and Bonehead is now back with my parents....undoubtedly being spoiled rotten again.
And I have lost YET ANOTHER child to deployment. Even if he wanted to come back here to stay, there is no way I can risk my own safety, or the safety of my unborn child and my 10 year old, just to have this volatile teenager in my home. No matter how much I love Bonehead, I literally can't let him back in my house.
How is it that I can hold everything together (and make it look EASY!) when hubby is around, but the minute he is gone, everything falls apart?
I really am just SO LOST without my husband.