Tuesday, May 25, 2010
Today I beat my high score on Solitaire on my iPad. Again.
I'm getting used to keeping myself company, and have been thinking a lot lately about WHY I choose solitude so much during deployment.
And of course I have had lengthy chats with myself about this.
(Have I mentioned before that I am CRAZY during deployment? Not that I am all that sane when he is home, but you know...)
It's not that I don't have friends, in fact I make it a point to at least talk to a friend once a day, if for nothing else than to guage the level of my crazy for the day. I still have my monthly Bunco group, and I chat with the other moms at the school, or at my son's basketball games. I went window shopping with a friend the other day, and I think we both enjoyed ourselves. But for the most part, my friends have no clue what deployment is like, and I find it just takes too damn much energy to hang out with them to pretend that everything is OK.
I realized this yesterday after having lunch with a fellow milspouse. Her husband is in the same place as mine, though maybe for a little bit longer. I can't remember for sure if we even talked about deployment over lunch, but if we did it, I know that it was done with no explanations of acronyms, etc. I do remember laughing, and best of all relaxing over lunch. This friend and I don't really have a lot in common - just the deployment, really - but it makes things so simple, just to have the elephant in the room be something totally normal. And to know that, if I start randomly crying - or laughing - for no apparent reason, she will understand. And if I completely lose my train of thought, that's okay too.
This milspouse barely knows me, but she gets it. And I really need that, you know?
Does this even make sense?
I think this is why I feel such a strong connection to all the other milspouse bloggers here, and I take so much comfort in the comments from all of you, and I so enjoy reading your blogs.
So, I thank you ALL for your awesomeness - we all do (me, myself, and I)