I think I am just too hormonal right now - I can't really be happy no matter what!
Last night hubby came home a day earlier than planned (again). Happy moment, right? Not so much. I was so excited to see him, but he just walked in as though he had only been gone for a couple of hours (!) Not even a kiss or a hug or anything. I sat with him to eat dinner, and could not even engage him in conversation (of course he prefers to watch TV, so I just shrugged that off).
But by the time we went to bed and he was snoring before I could even get undressed, I was thinking, 'what the hell did I DO to make him mad?'... I mean, I understand being tired, but after being away for 3 days, I just kinda thought we would, you know, WINK WINK. At least a quickie, right?
I cried myself to sleep. I'm pretty sure he heard me at one point, even though I was trying to keep it silent (as usual). I heard him stop snoring for a few minutes, but he didn't try to comfort me, or ask what was wrong, or anything.
This morning he had to leave again, and for a few minutes I thought he was even going to LEAVE without saying goodbye to me - but he turned around and hugged me (FINALLY) and gave me a kiss goodbye, even thanked me for breakfast. So I bit my tongue and did not ask him about last night. I just can't believe that he is willing to WASTE a night together, knowing we don't get many more of those before he deploys.
Am I crazy to be thinking this way? Or just hormonal? Or am I right to want to seize every precious moment with him while I can? I really want to give him the space he needs to unwind when he comes home, but just don't know if I can handle being outright IGNORED. Especially RIGHT NOW.