Sunday, April 18, 2010

This ride SUCKS, I demand a refund!

You know those roller coasters that you only go on ONCE?

Yesterday was one of those crappy rides.  Vomit and all.  Well, figuratively, anyway.

Started out OK.....

I had a public speaking thing to do, SMALL group of people (like 40-50) but I was still nervous.  *So this is that part where the roller coaster is 'click-click-clicking' slowly up that first hill.  Anticipation, nervousness, even outright fear.....

I did AWESOME, of course.  Everyone seemed to really listen and respond, and as usual, it really took my breath away.  *First exhilarating drop as the coaster picks up some speed.  See, that wasn't so bad, what was I so afraid of?....

And my son WON his basketball game while I was at my event!  YAY! *Quick little dip of excitement before the roller coaster makes a sudden turn, the kind that whips your head sideways.....

And hubby got to see the basketball game, even though I had to miss it. WOO HOO! *another hair-flipping turn and drop....

Then I totally SCORED by finalizing the sale of some concert tickets that we spent WAY too much money on, and now can't use because of the deployment - got our $500 back!  YEAH BABY! *that was the thrilling loop-de-loop in the middle of the ride - where you only have a second to be scared because you're upside-down, before you are 'safe' again at the other side of the loop.....

We ran some errands and FINALLY got to see a 'chick-flick' type of movie - Date Night.  I haven't been able to pick a movie to watch with these guys in a couple of years, and I just can't take any more action, sci-fi, gross blood-and-guts crap.  Or comic book movies.  Blech.  Anyway, Date Night was a really GREAT movie, and it felt so good to LAUGH, and even better, to hear my husband laughing there next to me! (Yes, I admit it, I have seen a few comedies alone since the guys never want to go to MY choice of movie....saw The Hangover by myself when it was at the cheap theater, LOVED IT - and missed hubby the whole time.) *This was that fast rip-around-blind-corners part of the roller coaster where you can't even scream or laugh because its going so fast - and its the part of the ride where you usually go, "man, I wanna do this AGAIN!"

Then hubby said he needed to talk to me about plans for the next couple of weeks (Disneyland with the kids, etc.) *Oh holy hell, did someone forget to tell me that there was another steep climb at the end of this ride?  There's that loud click-click-clicking again.....OH MY.....

And then the really crappy news came:  Hubby's pre-deployment leave is non-existent this time.  He got a 72 for this weekend, and MIGHT get either 48 or 72 off next weekend, which we will use to pack, and then that's it.  Even though he won't be leaving the country for a week or two after that, he won't be able to come back home until next year. I thought we had two full weeks together before he has to leave! **Roller coaster pauses at the top of the steep hill before plunging downward in a terrifying drop that continues into a freaking cave in the ground, like the one at the Nevada/CA state line - so you can't even see the roller coaster tracks in front of you any more.  This is also the vomit part. 

Deep breaths, get control.....OK so now to find a way to make the best of the next couple of days, right? 
Sat down and blogged about this, trying to wrap my head around it, trying to get a handle on this feeling of being suddenly cheated.  And then my washing machine FLOODED my laundry room.  It's an upstairs laundry room.  Total chaos, which hubby never handles well anyway.  And I was in no place to cope with this after getting such crappy news from hubby.  So I lost it - tears, total meltdown. *This is where the ride gets stopped when you are ALMOST to the end, and you sit there forever because someone lost their hat on the tracks or something, and you have to wait for a ride operator to climb up the fire-escape type ladders to free you and your fellow riders from this bizarre brightly colored vehicle.

Seriously, I think I cried from like 10:30 PM until 2 AM. All while cleaning up the laundry room mess, figuring out how the seal on the front-loader failed, and babysitting two loads of laundry as they cycled through, so I could make sure that I had really and truly fixed the problem.  Hubby was in bed by midnight, after I rudely banished him from the laundry room.  Well, I wasn't being rude, just defensive. 

See, hubby has an innate respect for all things scientific, especially machines - they just don't screw up like people do, right?  So when something DOES go wrong, he always assumes it is due to Operator Error.  Yeah, I am the operator of the washing machine, and NO it was not my freaking fault that it flooded!

If I had married a sensitive-type guy, he would have pulled me into his arms for a big comforting hug when he saw that I had reached my breaking point.  Not my hubby - he instead spent over an HOUR yelling at me for causing this mess - through any combination of 3 or 4 things he imagined I could have done wrong.  Of course, if I had married a more sensitive guy, I wouldn't even be writing this blog at all, because those are not the kind of guys who sign up to save the world.  I guess even when he's a jerk, I have to love and respect my hero.

But CRAP I can't believe we wasted another night arguing!  The evening was pretty much shot anyway, but if we could have handled the laundry crisis a little better (and I am sure I could have kept everyone calm if I was not already unravelling over the 'no-leave' news) then at least, after I cleaned up the mess and confirmed that the machine was in good working order, I could have collapsed into his arms with relief instead of lying there all night on my own side of the bed, resenting his snoring.  His snoring never keeps me awake, just makes me really jealous when I can't sleep.

This morning went a little better, apologies all around, etc. (*AHEM*) wink wink

We're getting a lot done today, but I still feel so freaking cheated.  Like, slimy-car-salesman-cheated.  Or those street-corner shell game guys kind of cheated.  Or pool-shark hustler cheated.

Or like 'I paid WAY too much money, just to go on a crappy roller coaster that gave me whiplash and a wedgie' cheated!


Laura said...

Pre-deployment is stressful. The weekend before my husband left we went to his unit's deployment part at Del Mar Beach. They had rented a cottage and everyone was drunk and playing poker. I was literally the only person not drinking, mainly because I'm underage but also because I didn't want to spend the night in the cabin with a bunch of strange dudes.
He had promised me we would leave at the soonest available moment, so once his sgt and his wife and baby left I asked if we could leave. I had grand plans of spending the last weekend cuddling, watching movies, and spending time with each other (something we didn't get to do all the other weekends because of my family, his family, and our roommate's neediness).
But he changed his mind. He wanted to stay. So he went and did a bunch of Jagermeister shots and left me alone out by the fire pit to stand by myself. So I told him I was leaving. He walked me to the car and I called him an asshole. There we ran into another guy in his unit who saw me crying and sat in the car with me and talked to me and actually LISTENED to me. Then he went and talked to my husband and he finally agreed to come home with me.

So we're in the car driving home and he just started yelling about how I always ruin things, I'm high-strung, it was his last weekend, etc etc. He slept in the guest bedroom that night and the next morning I thought things had cooled down but I guess they hadn't. I don't even remember what happened, all I know is he left. I was trying to block the door and he just picked me up and moved me out of his way, got in his car, and drove off. He left his phone so that I couldn't contact him.

He was gone for a few hours and then I realized MY phone was in the car and I called and asked him to come home. And things after that were much better but still. I thought for sure he was going to go to Afghanistan and I was going to be stuck here wondering if I was even married anymore.

Even now, I still feel guilty about that. I am a bit high-strung, and I'm also a towel nazi and can be a bit of a nag sometimes and I don't know if his last memory of me is the cool wife who cooks awesome food and keeps the house in tip-top shape and always handles problems, or if it's the nagging, hang-up-your-towel-and-don't-sit-on-that-couch-I-just-vacuumed-it wife.

I know this is your 3rd deployment and just my 1st, but I've still come to the conclusion that the weeks before are the worst.

Amber said...

Gotta love Uncle Sam! Seriously...that freaking SUCKS BALLS...and that says alot, because I don't suck balls because it makes me gag! Did that make you smile;)

I'm sorry...sending hugs your way!!!! Try and get in all the loving you can before he leaves. Don't you just wish he would leave already! Seriously...I got that way. It was just hanging over our heads, and I got to the point where I was just like, " you can come back already"!

Renee said...

Oh... I hate (really hate) roller coasters! Ric was gone 2 weeks prior to deployment (recently), worked for 3 days.. we took a short 3 1/2 day vacation he worked half a day then left the next. It sucks!

I hope that the days you DO have together has nothing more to do with appliances!

Hugs to you!

Kirsten said...

Sending you a big hug! Your rollarcoaster comparison was perfect. I know how stressful predeployments can be, even without crazy washing machine mishaps. Hang in there!

Gaile said...

Thanks ladies - you are all right, of course - and it actually DOES help to know that I am not the only one dealing with this craziness (but last night, even this would not have mattered!)
Laura, my husband seems to get SO stressed when leaving, whether its for a week, a month, or a year. I always know the 'last night' is not really 'our' last night - we never get to spend any time together, and if I try to be near him at all, I am literally just in the way. It's like he's having a really bad manic episode or something, EVERY time he leaves. Which is often, unfortunately.
I've told him, though, that this time I have some specific expectations for our night-before-the-last-night! ;)

Q, La, and Gooner said...

Ok, I'm apparently the only commenter wife here that has no idea about pre. deployment...but by golly I'm leaving a comment!!! Wait, that's not fair my best friends husband is in the military and I spent HOURS on the phone with her after she dropped her husband off at the airport for his first deployment, so even if I'm not in the pre.deployment club I have a healthy respect for what MW go through. Nuff said 'bout that. ANYWAY, I'm sorry. I'm sorry that at high emotional times I get the maddest at my husband..when I love him the most and blech. He's leaving, and I'm sorry.

Wife on the Roller Coaster said...

Gotta love that deployment roller coaster (hence the name of my blog!). At least you know it's completely normal to fight before deployments. (You do know that right?) Hope the roller coaster has settled down a bit!

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