Monday, March 29, 2010

another goodbye

This morning's good-bye was bittersweet. I was so emotionally exhausted from trying to deal with hubby's moodswings all weekend (after missing him terribly for 3 straight weeks) that I was kind of relieved to see him go, so I can 'rest'. But knowing that he will be gone all week this week made me really want to hold on to Mr. PMS for a moment longer.

I love him and miss him, and I am so nervous about this deployment. Will either of us be able to stay reasonably stable this time? Will the re-inegration this time SUCK as bad as the first two? If this past weekend is any indication of our current ability to 'deal', we are freaking DOOMED.

All day today I have been somewhere between laughing and crying (pregnancy hormones are not helping this at all). I feel so much more CRAZY than I did just last week. Is this my life now? Measuring new levels of my own insanity to check for 'progress'?

Marriage is hard, marriage to a Marine is even harder, and deployment just plain SUCKS.

3 comments:

Amber said...

Yes, it sucks...but that is why we are Marine wives....we understand it, accept it, and move on, because we HAVE too. We are just as strong as our Marines are!

I know there are no words to help you, I know the rage you feel inside of you right now. You just feel like screaming from the top of a mountain. I could tell you that it will get better, but you and I both now, that it won't:(

Hang in there, give yourself more credit, your a strong women!!!!!!! Remember that!

Ashleigh said...

Hi, I'm one of your new followers just thought I'd say hey!

Sorry you're feeling down. Deployment is hard and everyone handles it differently. I find it helps me to just take it a day at a time :) I know that sounds kind of generic, but really as long as I don't think about the ENTIRE year that's stretched in front of me, I'm usually somewhat okay :)

Gaile said...

Thanks For the words of encouragement girls! And Welcome Ashleigh!

I know I will be OK,it just feels so weird right now - every deployment is different, and I keep thinking I will get better at this over time, but NOT SO MUCH.

This blog is amazingly theraputic for me, I'm hoping I can keep up with it.

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