another goodbye

This morning's good-bye was bittersweet. I was so emotionally exhausted from trying to deal with hubby's moodswings all weekend (after missing him terribly for 3 straight weeks) that I was kind of relieved to see him go, so I can 'rest'. But knowing that he will be gone all week this week made me really want to hold on to Mr. PMS for a moment longer.

I love him and miss him, and I am so nervous about this deployment. Will either of us be able to stay reasonably stable this time? Will the re-inegration this time SUCK as bad as the first two? If this past weekend is any indication of our current ability to 'deal', we are freaking DOOMED.

All day today I have been somewhere between laughing and crying (pregnancy hormones are not helping this at all). I feel so much more CRAZY than I did just last week. Is this my life now? Measuring new levels of my own insanity to check for 'progress'?

Marriage is hard, marriage to a Marine is even harder, and deployment just plain SUCKS.