A moment of peace

I've lived in a constant state of anxiety of one kind or another since early January.  This was when hubby's deployment orders became official, and when we found out that we were successful in our attempts to get pregnant.

Today I was able to BREATHE and really relax, for the first time in three months.  Not only breathe, but actually PICTURE myself making it through this deployment with my sanity intact!  I know that the doubts and fears and uncertainty will return, maybe as soon as tomorrow, but for now, TODAY, I absolutely know that I CAN DO THIS.

And the catalyst for this major shift in thinking was.........

My sonogram appointment today.

Crazy, huh?  But also very cool.

We found out that we're having another BOY!

Oh, and yes, hubby DID make it home in time for the appointment, got to hear the heartbeat for the first time, and everything!

I don't understand why I had so much impatience to learn the baby's gender this time around (I've always found out by the 20th week, and here I am barely 15 weeks along and was DYING to know) but even more than this, I did not realize just how much anxiety was created by not knowing.

So now, I know.  And now I can breathe.  And its just that simple.