Friday, February 18, 2011

Valentine's fail

I have been waiting all week to write this post, procrastinating, hoping it would become unnecssary/untrue.

I am BEYOND pissed that my husband did ZILCH for me for Valentine's Day this year.  He is depressed, and I do understand how debilitating depression can be - but DANG!  He asked me weeks ago what I wanted for V-day, and I told him all I really wanted was a DATE with him. Dinner, and maybe a movie that does not involve zombies or aliens or gratuitously bloody shootouts. 

By last week, it had become apparent that having MIL come over to babysit for said date was going to create more stress than it was worth, so I gave up on the idea of a date, and told hubby that instead I would like an gift card so I can buy some new e-books for my Kindle.  That night (Friday - three days BEFORE V-day) he told me that whatever I was going to get for V-day would probably be late.  I joked about it, saying, "so, in other words, no different than the last dozen or so Valentine's Days".... he didn't appreciate my humor, but that was he end of discussion.

The next day (Saturday) my friend/neighbor/babysitter texted me to offer to babysit for free that night if we wanted to go out on a date.  I was SO excited to tell hubby, who rudely shrugged it off.  So, no date.

I was bummed, but kept my chin up anyway.  Monday rolled around, and I kind of HOPED he would pull himself out of his funk and go shopping for SOME kind of gift for me.  That never happened. 

Here it is Friday, four days after Valentine's Day, and still NOTHING - even though he HAS been into town a few times in the past couple of days, and he HAS shopped on amazon this week (for himself).

I feel forgotten again.


Should I say anything to him?  I am worried that the resentment will build (& explode) if I don't speak up.  But I am also worried that anything I say will be misunderstood and will lead to a nasty argument.

Its not about THINGS, or how much money he spends, etc.  It's about being an afterthought, a shadow in the background.  I really NEEDED, now more than ever, for him to show me that I matter to him - that he thinks of me and loves me. 

Seriously, not even a freaking CARD????

Am I wrong to feel so hurt about this?


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