Finally had a confrontation with hubby about this insanity and.....
He's leaving.
I hope he gets some help (I start therapy for me next week).
I hope I can welcome him home with open arms if/when he's ready to come back.
But, in all honesty:
More than anything I am so fucking RELIEVED that I don't have to pretend any more!
I feel like such a fucking failure right now, but at least now I am not a FAKE failure. Now I can be the genuine article.
No bullshit.
Friday, February 4, 2011
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1 comments:
Gaile, I'm so sorry to hear your pain. But try to keep your head up and focus on getting yourself taken care of and the rest will fall into place. As you know so very well, deployment changes people and makes it like just getting started all over again for living together and resuming life. It's super easy to question, "Who is the man standing here pretending to be my husband?" The sad truth is he is trying to figure out who he is at the same time. And as such he is hurting you in the process.
I know it seems pretty bleak right now, but try to have faith and remember you are never alone. Rebuilding starts as small as breathing in and out each day. It's all about baby steps.
Good luck and just know all of us here in bloggy land are here for you.
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