Tuesday, March 23, 2010

"only" a reservist...

This post is kind of a continuation of my previous post about lack of support.....

I am so MAD at the way I get treated by some active duty spouses, like it doesn't really matter what I go through here, because my husband is 'only' a reservist. REALLY????!!! I mean, SERIOUSLY???

We are entering our third deployment in five years. With no built-in support network like many active duty families have. We live an hour from the nearest base, and have ZERO resources in our area.

On top of all of that, reservist face additional challenges that active duty personnel don't have to worry about - like having to request leave from the 'real' job, coordinate continuation of certain job benefits when available, and finding the appropriate military replacements for those benefits. Re-integration after deployment is also completely different, since the civilian employers don't generally have the basic understanding of this process that the military seems to have.

Sometimes I just feel like such an outsider in my own life. I don't fit in with non-military wives, and I don't fit in with military wives.

I will finish my rant here with one question: Why is my sacrifice as a Marine Wife any less than yours?

On a brighter note I recently learned that Ryan Homes gives discounts for those in the military.

People in the service along with family members should always take advantage of discounts when possible. It makes me happy to see that there is a military discount offered on their homes for sale. I wish we could have taken advantage of a great deal like this when we bought our new home - and am so glad its available for those of you looking to buy right now.


Amber said...

It's not!!!! You are going through what all us "active" duty wives go through....BUT, you actually have it worse because like you said, you don't have any support of the base, or other military wives to help you get through it. I'm not sure how your family is...but unless they are going through the same thing as you, which I'm sure they are not, they don't get it either. I'm sorry you feel this way, but not all military wives think this of reserve wives. Afterall, we are all in it togetgher. Where do you live? Let me know if you ever need some support...I'd be glad to help you out.

rainforestfam1 said...

It's totally NOT! Anyone who makes you feel differently is simply ignorant.

It's funny, my husband is active duty, and yet I still feel the same way. In real life, I've only met a handful of other military wives who don't make me feel like a complete outsider in some way. Hang on to the good ones you meet... disregard the jerks.


I'm a guard wife as well. I hear ya on the not really in but not really out type of feeling.

Amy said...

My husband is AGR and I know exactly how you feel. While my husband is considered active, he works for a reserve unit and we don't get a lot of the benefits that regular active duty soldiers receive (a big one being access to the GI Bill). And only 16 soldiers in my husbands unit are currently deployed so that makes it even harder to try to connect to anyone.

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