I really need to just STOP watching TV, reading any news updates about Afghanistan, etc. Hubby doesn't even officially leave for a few weeks yet, and I am already SO SCARED that something will happen to him over there. I have nightmares, at least I do when I can actually SLEEP. One particularly disturbing nightmare depicted my husband dying when a vehicle (tractor or farm equipment of some kind) rolled over on him while he was trying to get it un-stuck. I woke up sobbing, of course.
I have always taken such comfort in leaning on my fellow military wives - no matter how far apart we are, the sisterhood we share can be such a comfort to me. There are some I know so well I feel like I can call them in the middle of the night if I just need to talk, and others I know only via the internet - which brings me to Rachel Porto. This brave young Marine Wife said goodbye to her husband in December as he headed out to Afghanistan for a 7 month (ish) deployment. She was 8 months pregnant when he left. Now she is faced with the daunting task of saying a forever 'goodbye' to him, as he died last week in country. (her blog is at http://alittlepinkinaworldofcamo.blogspot.com/2010/03/i-will-always-be-marine-wife.html ) She knows that she is part of the amazing sisterhood I mentioned above, and she knows her husband was a GOOD Marine, and will undoubtedly honor that memory forever, but I can't even begin to guess at the depth of her grief at such a profound loss. As I pray for her and her beautiful daughter, I am also praying that I will never really KNOW exactly how she feels right now.
And I am turning off the TV as much as I can so I don't think any more about my husband getting hurt (or worse) over there. I am nowhere near as brave as Rachel when it comes to deployment, so I know I won't be as strong and brave as she is if anything actually HAPPENS to my Marine.