love/hate

I've been feeling the need to rant lately, but am kind of doing everything half-assed right now - so here is my half-assed version of a RANT POST:

I have a love/hate relationship with almost everything these days....

For instance, of course I LOVE a long phone call from the hubby during deployment, but I absolutely HATE the fact that these calls only happen at 2 AM my time.  We got to talk for almost an hour on the phone the other night, and I am STILL recovering from the lost sleep.  Like I said, love/hate.

And I absolutely LOVE watching Knucklehead (my ten year old) thoroughly enjoy himself at the beach, but I HATE the fact that I have to drag so much gear across the sand just to do it.  Especially since yesterday's sand-wrestling episode might be what sent me into a scary bout of false-labor (I posted about that little drama on my pregnancy blog last night). Ok maybe that one is a love/hate/HATE.

I'm loving 'summer vacation' with just my ten year old, while daddy is deployed and big brother Bonehead is staying with my parents....but hating the fact that we can't afford to go DO anything with all this free time.  I guess you really do get what you pay for, right? ("free" time equals WASTED time, as it turns out....)

I actually LOVE having the bed all to myself so I can toss and turn all I want to - and I HATE the fact that I STILL can't get comfortable, even with all that extra space (combination of pregnant belly and missing my hubby).

I love living in California, where you can drive a short distance and be at the mountains, or the beach, or the lake, or the desert.....but I HATE the other drivers on the road!  Maybe not all of them, but 99.9% of them are complete freaking IDIOTS.  Ooooh maybe next time I want to rant I will do a ROAD RAGE post!  A subject near and dear for this cranky girl.

I guess my biggest love/hate relationship is with the Marine Corps.  I am so incredibly PROUD of my husband for everything he does, and am really and truly proud to be a Marine Wife....but oh I hate hate hate hate HATE deployment!  I hate knowing that the Marines will always have his loyalty, first and foremost.  I hate being 'the other woman' when I know his first love is (and will always be) the United States Marine Corps. 

And finally, I LOVE happy homecomings, love that 'reunion' moment after a long deployment, but I HATE the actual reality of re-integration.  Not sure why I am already worrying about this, since we have at least 6 months to go, but I truly dread all of the crap that comes with welcoming him back into our day-to-day lives (and trying to fit back into HIS, which is re-defined with each deployment)

*sigh*