BOSTON (picture post)

OK, as promised, here are some pictures from our trip to Boston last weekend:

Bobblehead's first flight on an 'ehhpaaaane'

My handsome men (minus Bonehead since we left him in California with his big sister)

I actually missed the ceremony after being sick as a dog ALL DAY, 

but managed to pull myself together and hold down some ginger ale 

just in time to go to the reception. I think I still looked peaked here,

bu nobody seemed to notice. I'm so happy I at least got to GO!

Sweetest couple - so in love!

I love catching him SMILING on camera! 

Yes, the alcohol probably had something to do with this, but I'm so glad he had a good time.

He's smiling again! HA HA HA note the glass in his hand (again)

The groom's lovely sister had LOTS of great stories to tell about her big brother.

Hey Babe, there's a monkey on your back.....

Sitting in the middle of Boston Common

Granary Burial Ground (final resting place of Samuel Adams & Paul Revere, among others)

The first time the Declaration of Independence was ever read 

to the public, it was done from this balcony. 

They read it again every 4th of July here.

Playing with daddy. This playground sits on the spot that used to be THE GALLOWS.

Charming, huh? ha ha ha

Bobblehead LOVES pizza, and he loved this cool 

chair in our hotel room, which doubled as a high-chair while we were there.

Paul Revere House

Copp's Hill Burying Ground

You can see the steeple of the Old North Church in the background 

(where the signal lanterns were hung the night of Paul Revere's famous ride)

Bloggy friends

I've had the honor & privelege of meeting several other milbloggers in the past few years, and have made some lasting friendships..... but nothing excites me more than meeting a 'fan' of my blog in unexpected places!
Yesterday I was at the wedding of a beautiful couple in Boston - a little far from my so-cali stomping grounds. The groom served with my husband in Afg 2 years ago, and is little Bobblehead's Godfather. The bride was my online 'battle buddy' during that deployment, and neither of us knew at the time that our men were bonding with one another half a world away.  
The cool moment last night was when the groom's younger sister came over to introduce herself & told me she's a follower here! So cool :)
So, this is just a quick shoutout to Laura, who now has inside info on the 'top secret project' I'm working on.....can't wait to tell you all about that one!

Pics from our Boston trip coming SOON,

reunited and it feels so good.....

I can't possibly express my gratitude to my many blog friends who have been so patient (& forgiving!) with my recent absence.  To those who took time to contact me and check to make sure all is well, I owe an even bigger THANK YOU!

My last post promised a look at our new family portraits, so here you go:

So, the biggest new development in my life is one that I don't technically have hubby's permission to blog about yet, but I will definitely be letting that cat out of the bag SOON.  The second biggest new development is that my daughter is BACK!

Many of you already know the story of my daughter, AKA 'Airhead', leaving 4 1/2 years ago, and you also know some of the hurt this caused me.  I've missed her SO SO SO much, and can't tell you all how fantastic it feels now to have her back in our lives!  Seeing her, speaking with her, HUGGING her.....best feeling EVER.  We had dinner as a family in early June and it was so incredible to see her playing with little Bobblehead as if she's known him his whole life.  Since then I've gone wine tasting with her a couple times (yes, I love having an adult daughter!!!) and we're going to get pedicures together later this week. LOVE!

I was overjoyed to be reunited with my long-lost daughter, but just imagine my sheer happiness to learn that she works at one of our local wineries, and can get me in FREE for tasting at almost any winery in town!  Does it get better than this???? Yes, actually it does, but like I said I can't talk about that yet....still a SECRET for a little while yet.

My boys are all ecstatic to have Airhead back, too.  Bonehead passed his proficiency test to finish high school, so I finally paid off his senior pictures (will post those soon!) He's hoping to enlist in the Navy, but we won't know for a couple more weeks if that's even possible.  Knucklehead is enjoying his summer, getting ready for school to start in a few weeks. This is his second year in Middle School, and he is now my ONLY child in school.  Well, not counting Bobblehead, of course.....but he's in preschool. PRE-preschool, in fact, in the toddler program.  But in a few short weeks he'll be two years old and will move into the class I've been teaching since March, which means I have to move OUT of that class.  Not sure yet if I will be in the Infant program or the Pre-K, but either way it will be a huge adjustment for me.

My doula business is going very well, though that new secret project I'm not allowed to talk about yet is going to put the doula thing on hold for awhile.  I have three more births already scheduled, and am not taking on any more clients for the time being.  I'm also getting better with photography, which brings me to my next point - have you entered the Shutterfly Facebook Photo Contest yet?  Check it out:

Long Live Summer – Facebook Photo Contest details (US residents only) 7/9 – 8/12 Multi-week summer themed photo sweepstakes with instant win prizes. http://bit.ly/sweepS

Win a trip for four to The Bahamas and a professional photo shoot so you’ll remember your vacation forever.  All you need to do is upload your favorite photo and caption based on the theme of the week.  Get a gift from Shutterfly just for entering! You can enter at any point during the 5-week sweepstakes period.

PHOTO THEMES

•       Week 1(7/9): Americana - ended

•       Week 2 (7/16): Great Outdoors - ended

•       Week 3 (7/23): Water Fun – current week

•       Week 4 (7/30): Sports & Activities

•       Week 5 (8/6): Parties & Celebrations

PRIZES

•       Instant win prizes just for submitting a photo!

•       Weekly prizes (contestants can enter one time/week)

•       Weekly featured photos: up to 5 weekly entries will be selected from the gallery and featured on the Facebook fan page.

•       Grand prize: trip for 4 to Bahamas, 4 nights, family photo shoot

•       Shutterfly Sweepstakes - Official Rules

why I love blogging (a.k.a. UPDATE)

WOW, has it really been a whole month since my last post??? Makes sense, I guess, since it has also been a whole month since I started working full-time again.  I'm finally adjusting (SORTA) to my new schedule, but working full time is a lot harder than I remember it being!  True, the last time I worked full-time I was 3 years younger......and didn't have a toddler to care for.  But seriously, some nights I can't even summon the energy to pour a much-needed glass of wine!  Oh, who the hell am I kidding, there is ALWAYS enough energy for the wine!  My nightly wine habit is back, and it is SERIOUSLY effecting my bottom line, both literally and figuratively.

I am still supposed to be training to run my first ever half-marathon, but have not made time to run DAILY like I need to - especially since the race I originally planned to run (Disney Half Marathon in September) already sold out, and the only other viable option for me to meet my goal of completing a half THIS YEAR is to do the Fontana Days Half Marathon in early June.  This one costs a lot less, and is an all-flat course, but how in the HELL am I supposed to be ready in just 8 freaking weeks?!?! GAH!  I did another 5K race in early March, shaving 4 full minutes off my October race time.

Three weeks later I did this one in Palm Springs, with a goal of finishing four minutes FASTER than my new personal best time, but instead I added 15 seconds.  I could blame the gnarly cold we've all been passing around for about 5 weeks now, but in reality, this was strictly due to lack of training.  I only ran ONCE in the week before that last race, and didn't run well at all.

I've actually started gaining weight, probably due IN PART to the wine I drink every night to cope with this job (I might love it some day, but for now.....NOT SO MUCH) but in reality it is more likely due to the 2 or 3 times a week FAST FOOD habit that also returned when I started working again, and the fact that my workouts are inconsistent at best.  I weighed 272 lbs when I signed up for Valley's Biggest Loser last summer, and finished the 3 month contest in December weighing 218.  I got down below 215 once or twice, but have mostly bounced between 216 and 220 since December.  Today, I weigh 225 stark naked. :(  I am SOOOOO not willing to ever go back to being that WHALE that I was for more than ten freaking years! I'm doing an informal weight loss competition with a couple of girls from work - we each put in $20 and weighed in this week, and we'll weigh in again May 1 - the person who loses the highest PERCENTAGE of their weight will keep all the cash.  I'm hoping my competitive self will now come out and kick the crap out my stressed-out-emotional-eating self.  That fat bitch has NO PLACE in my new life!

Speaking of my new life.......

My hubs has been home for a few weeks, and is making some progress.  I wish I could say everything is GREAT now that he's in counseling, but that would be a blatant lie.  In truth, some days feel WORSE than before, but mostly we are at least moving forward.  Sometimes we are INCHING forward, but still moving forward.



Remember that "Ugliest Backyard" contest I asked you all to help me with back in January?  Well I WON, with 40% more votes than the next nearest contender!!!!!  The prize was $5000 in goods & services from System Pavers, which was exactly how much we were 'short' when we had them out for a bid in December.  Thanks to that contest, we were finally able to move forward with our patio project, and my back patio went from this:

to THIS:

AWESOME, right?  The yard is not completely done, but the System Pavers portion is.....it only took them 2 1/2 days!!!  The air conditioner unit has been moved back to its spot since this picture was taken, and we've built planters all around the fence, and put in a lemon tree and an orange tree.  Now I need to finish building Bobblehead's custom sandbox, and put up a fence in the dirt side-yard for my doggy, and then of course add some actual patio furniture.  My new neighbors might also sell me their granite-topped BBQ island that they had from their old house, since it is too big for their new backyard.  If not, we still at least have a cart-style gas BBQ in good condition, so we can start grilling ALL. THE. TIME.   :)

Bobblehead already LOVES this new living space, and SO DO I!  So, bloggy friends, thank you SO MUCH for voting for my hideous backyard!

So, lets see....New job, new backyard, and new start with hubby.  Now I just need a new dose of MOTIVATION to lose weight, and I'll be all set, right?  Well, my 38th birthday is four weeks away, and that was originally my goal date for reaching my GOAL WEIGHT of 145 lbs.....clearly not gonna make that, but since the date is approaching, maybe I will use THAT for some pressure/motivation.

I'll try to update you all here BEFORE that, but if I don't, well be sure to check back here after I turn 38!

prayer request

I don't usually do this, but am asking you all to please say a prayer for my family tonight.  Last week my teenager, AKA "Bonehead" ran away - he is safe at a friend's house for now, but needs to come home and handle things here......he's risking throwing away his last opportunity to graduate this year, and therefore losing his best opportunity to get into the military.

On top of the teenager issues, my marriage is in trouble, AND my hubby is struggling with more mental health issues (which he STILL has not gotten help for).... this morning he lost his temper to the point that he got physical.  No one was hurt, but he scared the crap out of all of us.  I had to ask him to leave.  It breaks my heart to be the one who is 'kicking him out' when he so clearly needs a LOT of love and patience right now, but I can't risk him hurting me or the kids in a blind rage.  I'm seriously hoping and praying that this will be the final straw for him, the one thing that will MAKE him go and get help.

He has gone to a few counseling sessions in the past year, but I know he is not being honest with the therapist - so how is she supposed to help him?  He's been referred to a psychiatrist, and WOW, if anyone needs psych meds right now, it's my husband - but he "doesn't have time" to go see the psychiatrist. I pray that he will now MAKE time, and will take his mental health as seriously as he's always taken his physical health.

I truly hate to air our dirty laundry here like this, but you already all know how much we've struggled with his mental health issues (and MINE) since he returned from deployment 14 months ago.  The 'reintegration' ugliness is mostly over, but if he doesn't find a way to heal his mind, it won't matter.

Please, just say a prayer for peace and health for my whole family.

THANKS.

Ugliest Backyard Contest

I never do this, but this is SO IMPORTANT to me, I am breaking my own rule.  I am using my blog to BEG for your help to win a contest!

Our backyard is dangerous & hideous.  We are the first owners of this home, and of course the front yard was already landscaped when we bought the house.  We knew it might be awhile until we could afford to do the backyard, but when new next-door-neighbors moved in, we took a leap and ended up hiring their contractor to do our backyard. We had to borrow money from family, and then this crooked contractor DISAPPEARED with our $6,000.00!  (he also screwed my neighbors out of $3000) This was five years ago, and now we've added Baby Bobblehead to our family - so we REALLY NEED A USABLE BACKYARD.

System Pavers here in so-cal is holding a contest on FB for the "Ugliest Backyard" they can find.  The winner gets $5000 toward a backyard makeover from System Pavers!  We had them out for a bid a couple weeks ago, and with all of the discounts we can qualify for, the cheapest we can get our patio/walkway done is $15,000.  We've qualified to finance $10,000 so winning this contest will close the gap and get us a patio that Baby Bobblehead can enjoy every day.

You have to be a Facebook user to vote for me - but you can vote EVERY DAY between now and February 29, 2012.  (And I will love you forever if you do!)

Here are step-by-step instructions - this only takes about 15 seconds if you have decent internet connection:

1. Go "Like" the System Pavers FB page HERE.

2. After you 'like' the page, click the link on the left that says
"Ugliest Backyard Contest"

3. The contest form will come up, look for the "Click Here to Vote" button and CLICK it.

4. Scroll down until you see the picture of MY ugly backyard, with my name "GAILE GONZALES" next to it, and click "like it"

THAT'S IT!  If you have a few extra seconds to share this with your facebook friends, I would sure apreciate it.  (make sure you don't just go through the regular photo album and 'like' my photo, as this will NOT COUNT.  Only votes submitted through the "vote" page will count.

Please vote, and come back often to vote more over the next few weeks - we REALLY REALLY REALLY need to win this!

This adorable little man really deserves a chance to run around and play outside, don't you think?

have you heard the secret?

I don't do this very often, but I want to introduce you all to one of my FAVORITE bloggers, Lori Volkman at Witty Little Secret.  I've only been subscribing to her posts for a couple of months now, but I literally laugh out loud, or cry, OR BOTH, every time I read her posts. 

Today's post was just so PERFECT, I simply had to share.  It really hit home with me, since I am still trying to draw my 'real' husband out from the shell of a man he came home as almost 8 months ago.  She starts out with this intro:

"This week I wrote Husband an effusive email expressing various events, emotions, challenges. I laid bare my concerns, seeking input and counsel. I reached out into the ethernet for some partnership, some companionship, and possibly some laughter.

Husband’s response announced: ”See responses below.” I scrolled down. At the end of each of my written paragraphs were his contrasting color comments. And by “comments” I actually mean single word phrases. The response to paragraph #1 was “yes,” paragraph #2 was “cool” and paragraph #3 was … wait for it … “Mind over matter.”

 

I stared. I had PTSD flash-backs of R&R. I flashed forward to homecoming. And I did what any girl would do. I issued an OPORD. I have a feeling this one is going to get me in trouble …"

Her OPORD is freaking HILARIOUS!  Go here to read the whole post.....I guarantee you will love it! 

Family Reunion (picture post)

Before I post pictures from my awesome week-long family reunion, I want to remind my stalkers followers that TOMORROW, Wednesday August 3, you can come meet me in person on Del Mar Beach aboard Camp Pendleton!  If you are anywhere near Pendleton, email me ASAP for more info - I really would love to see you all there!

Last week my parents and five of my siblings and I (and our respective spouses and children) descended on a timeshare complex in Oceanside, CA.  At the peak, we had 13 adults and 18 children - so we were missing a total of 5 adults and 7 children this year.  If everyone comes to our next reunion in 2013, we will have 18 adults and 27 children (since 2 more babies are on the way at the moment).  Pretty big family, huh?

I will have some better pictures to post SOON, since my friend came down with her camera and got some great group shots.  But for now, here are a few of the pictures I took:

17 cousins in Old Town San Diego

Beach Babies!  My little Bobblehead is on the right.

Bobblehead & Bonehead (don't mind the san goatee)

Knucklehead & Bonehead 'firing' a cannon in one of the museums

My neices & nephews digging HUGE holes in the sand :)

Knucklehead had such a fantastic time with his cousins ALL WEEK, especially at the beach.

Knucklehead tried on an od steel helmet like the ones the Conquistadors wore. 

Home, sweet home.....isn't it crazy that I can fit TWO longboards on top of my tiny litle car?

This historic lighthouse is next to the harbor - we could see it from our room, which was pretty cool.  Definitely made the blackout shades necessary though

(I never would have slept all week with that

rotating light flasing into my room over and over all night long.)

ha ha ha!  and I thought MY surfboard setup was crazy!

This guy has surfboards AND a bike, all with his little convertible.

Cute, huh?

The teenagers - Bonehead on the right, age 16.

Kaid in the middle is 17, and Tayla on the left is 18.

reality vs virtual reality

In case you haven't noticed, I have been neglecting this blog a lot lately.  I've even neglected my facebook & twitter, to some extent.

Normally I use all of the 'virtual reality' social networking tools out there to sort of ESCAPE true reality, but lately, well, I've been DEALING.  Kinda.

I signed up for a local weight loss contest, which will begin September 10. It's also a charity fundraiser, so be looking for future posts from me soliciting donations. :)  I'll be tweeting about the contest throughout the 12 weeks.  It includes a mandatory weekly nutrition class, and mandatory group workout once a week, as well as a weekly weigh-in and group challenge.  If I ever fall "below the yellow line" (bottom 7 or 8 in that week's weight loss) then I will become ineligible for the GRAND PRIZE of $2,500.00

So, yeah, I am pretty motivated to stay at the top of the pack in this contest!

Reality, in and of itself, is often overrated - but either way, I am, well, DEALING.  Counseling is going well, and I've had some pretty frank discussions with hubby lately.  Not sure if anything will come of it, but at least I am no longer EATING my feelings.

Oh, and speaking of reality, I hope to meet some of my VIRTUAL friends in person at a beach gathering in about a week and a half!  If you live near Camp Pendleton and did not get an invite yet, please EMAIL ME so I can include you!

I'll be back to some regular blogging soon, because school is starting - which means I will have some sort of schedule again...some sort of 'normal'. I'm not looking forward to going back to my part-time job, but I am definitely looking forward to some early bedtimes around here. That magical hour after the kids are in bed is normally my Mommy Time.  AKA "wine o clock".  Not that I indulge in a glass of wine EVERY night, but I try to get to it at least 2 or 3 times a week. But, wine or no wine, that is also my time to catch up on the blogs that I follow, and to type or edit my own posts.

So, hopefully soon I will be blogging more, relaxing more, and putting ME first more, in just a few short weeks.  Thanks so much to all who hang in there with me in all these in-between times - especially those who take time to comment or email....it means so much to me!  REALLY.

Goodnight Moon's MUSIC linkup, week 9

WOW, nine weeks already that we've been having this fantastic dance party?

AWESOME.

If you haven't linked up yet, go check out Amber's page, GOODNIGHT MOON, and join the party!

I've had this song in my head all week this week, and I don't know WHY.

It's from the play, "Phantom of the Opera", which hubby took me to see in L.A. a loooooong time ago, back when we were just dating.  I absolutely loved the play, and truly loved my man for surprising me with those tickets, even though I HATE surprises. (hint to any guys reading this: if you are ever dating a single mom and want to take her on a surprise date, MAKE SURE THE BABYSITTER GETS THE DETAILS one way or another!) Seriously surprised me though, because he is not into musical theater at all, and when he asked me out on this date, all he said was, 'wear something nice'.  Nice?  What the hell does that mean?  Like church-nice?  Job-interview-nice?  Ballgown-nice?  Of course, it didn't really matter - there were people there in jeans, and people there in cocktail dresses, and everything in between.  I'm pretty sure no one even noticed my simple black skirt and basic button-up blouse.

I had never been to a 'real' theater before, and the Pantages Theater did not disappoint.  I've been back a couple times (most recently to see 'Wicked' in 2006) but will never forget seeing Phantom there. Talk about an amazing night!

Viral Video linkup, WEEK 3

I can't believe we've already reached WEEK THREE of this linkup! I am loving sharing videos, and so far the bloggers who have linked up have all shared AWESOME new (to me) videos!

This week I have been thinking back to when my hubby and I got engaged (I proposed to HIM, not the other way around).  Of course most of us don't have video of our marriage proposals, but this guy does, courtesy of CBS!

I am also completely ADDICTED to The Price Is Right.  Or was, at least, until I had this baby.  I've been in the audience 17 times, trying to get onstage.  When I took my mom and a bunch of her crazy friends for her birthday, she got called down!  Three other times that I have taken groups down (two groups of milspouses and one group of teachers) one of my girls got called down - and only one of them won their bid to get onstage.

There is no theme for this linkup, just whatever 'moves' you.  Something silly, something sad, something incredible/impossible, whatever.  THAT BEING SAID, IF YOU ARE AT A LOSS for an idea of what to share, answer one of these questions and find a video that goes with it:

1. What was your marriage proposal like?
2. What are you 'addicted' to?  Guilty pleasure?
To join in, just post a video on your blog, then come back here and link up! The linky tool stays open until 11:59 PM Monday night (Pacific time).


Thanks in advance for sharing - I can't wait to see what you all have this week.

*UPDATE ON JESSICA*

Last Sunday night/early Monday morning we were all shocked with the blog post by
Jessica on {mis}adventures of an army wife.

This morning Jessica's parents posted this message, so I am passing it along to anyone who might be interested in sending Jess a little cheer:

*****

To all the wonderful people who responded to Jessica on her "Misadventures of an Army WIfe" blog,




Tom and I want to thank all of you for the kind words you have posted on Jessica's blog. Jessica is currently in the hospital for an unknown lenght of stay and will require continued therapy afterwards. I was able to vist with her for about 1 1/2 hours on Thursday, 14 April, and she is starting to realize her actions last week as well as the events that led to her depression and suicide attempt. I did print out all your comments from her blog and was able to give her a hardcopy.


One of Jessica's friends had a great idea that Tom and I are following up on....an Easter Basket filled with notes and cards of encouragement, empathy, stories, understanding or good 'ole humor! If we could be so bold to the virtual community, we would like to ask you to send your thoughts, notes, cards, etc. to the P.O. Box below that we have now estabished:


Jessica
P.O. Box 292138
Columbia, SC 29229


I will gather them into an Easter Basket of Cheer for Jessica this week to continue to let her know she is not alone nor are the events she experienced isolated to just her.


Please do not send gifts or money....just your words of encouragement and prayers.


Please let the word spread.....


Thanks again to all you,


-- From the parents of Jessica....Tom in NM and now Sue in SC

Music Linkup, week 8

Have you linked up with Amber at Goodnight Moon yet?

This week's music post is dedicated to Jessica, over at {Mis}Adventures of an Army Wife.  If you missed the story earlier this week, Jessica has been struggling with some serious emotional trauma, and she made plans to take her own life & wrote a goodbye post/AKA suicide letter on her blog.  Thankfully she *IS* alive and getting help, and we are all praying she will make a full recovery.

Since we've opened the topic of Suicide, I have an interesting story to tell...but go ahead and click 'play' first so you can enjoy this song while you read:

If you've kept up with my blog, you know that my husband returned from deployment four months ago, and has not been himself ever since.  I am pretty sure he has PTSD, but he refuses to get diagnosed/treated.  About 3 1/2 weeks ago, he received a phone call out of the blue from a former colleague - a guy he hasn't seen in at least 8 years, maybe more like 10 years.  This friend asked my hubby to put together a funeral detail for him......in other words, the guy was suicidal.  They talked on the phone for HOURS (odd for my hubs because he hates talking on the phone) and by the time they hung up, his friend was feeling better, and agreed to call and check in with Jarhead the next day.  They've talked a few more times since then, and his friend seems to have a better perspective on things now.

The significant part about this incident is not that hubby talked him down; it is that, within a few hours after that initial phone call, I began to see little bits of *MY HUSBAND* showing through.  Somehow, being needed (by someone besides me or the kids) seemed to really pull him out of his shell.  Or maybe it was a 'mirror' for hubby, who had hinted at some suicidal thoughts of his own a few weeks earlier.  Perhaps he didn't like what he saw in that 'mirror' and was suddenly motivated to change?

Either way, it has brought about some serious changes here. 

We are still not in the clear, but hubby (finally) returned to work later that week, after three months of being at home.  [he is a reservist, and his civilian employer encouraged him to burn through some of his accrued vacation time before coming back to work, since it will be tough to get any vacation approved now that he is back on the schedule].  He started working out at the gym every day, like he used to.  He even jokes around with me sometimes, the way he used to.  The intimacy thing has gotten a little better, too. 

We still have a long way to go, but I am cautiously optimistic about the outcome now.  I have felt so lost and alone through this whole process, and so many times I myself was feeling hopeless and helpless, and had those awful dark thoughts, imagining what it would be like to end it all. 

Now I have more hope,

and am SO HAPPY

that I found the strength to

"Hold on for one more day"

a hundred or so times.

If you are also in that dark, desolate place that Jessica is fighting her way back from, PLEASE, just hold on.  Call someone, maybe even someone you haven't talked to in years.  If nothing else, EMAIL ME and we can exchange numbers and talk about it.  You are NEVER truly alone.

Hold on for one more day.

Her final goodbye???

Does anyone out there know Jessica from {mis}adventures of an army wife?

Her blog indicates that she committed suicide a couple days ago.

I don't know her in real life, but am so distraught over this.

I'm praying, as many other people are, that she scheduled that blog post and then didn't get a chance to take it down, but is still alive.

If anyone knows what's going on, please comment here or email me directly.

You can read her sad post HERE.
And, if you are reading this and it resonates with you because you have been contemplating suicide, PLEASE don't do it! You are never truly alone, even if the only 'friend' you can turn to is a virtual friend, here in blogland. Heck, if nothing else, email ME and we can talk.

And Jessica, if you are reading this and are still alive, please know that you ARE worth it....you do have a future, a life, friends, all of it. Just maybe not in the ways you thought you had before.

Alpha to Zulu

Have you linked up yet?  This week I am pretty much ALL about linkups, and this one took more time than I had imagined it might. Head on over to Riding the Roller Coaster for more info and to add your own list to the linkup!  Oh, and be sure to check out the other fabulous blogs already linked there. (other linkups to check out: Goodnight Moon's music linkup every Thursday, and my new Viral Video linkup every Sunday/Monday)

You may notice that my list includes a lot of words with negative connotations....if you are new to my blog, you may want to read back over the past, say, three or four months worth of posts and you will see why.  I do love my husband dearly, and I am so proud of him, and proud to be his wife - but PTSD is trying to destroy what's left of our marriage, and while I am fighting just to keep my head above water, it can be tough to be 'positive'.  Add to the mix my own current Post-Partum Depression, and, well, not a whole lot of laughs in this post.  But here it is anyway, enjoy!

Military Life from Alpha to Zulu

ALPHA

Active Duty, Arguments, Afghanistan, Anxiety, ADJUSTING

BRAVO

Bravery, Budget, BLOGGING

CHARLIE

Cammies, Cover, Changes, Cell phone, CRYING

DELTA

Deployment, "Donut of Misery", Drill Weekends, DREAMING

ECHO

Emotions, E-MAIL

FOXTROT

Friends, flexible, FRG, fears, FIGHTING

GOLF

Gear, Girls' Night, GOODBYES

HOTEL

Head, Homecomings, HOPES

INDIA

Independence, Invincible, Iraq, INSOMNIA

JULIET

Jumpy, JERK (sometimes)

KILO

KISSES (goodbye and hello!)

LIMA

Love, Laughter, Loneliness, LIVING

MIKE

Moto-mail, Marines, MARRIAGE

NOVEMBER

Notes, NCO's, Nightmares

OSCAR

OPSEC, Orders, OIF, OEF

PAPA

PTSD, Planning, Phoenetic Alphabet, Phone calls, Prayer

QUEBEC

"Quick-fast-and-in-a-hurry!" (Major Payne)

ROMEO

Reintegration/Redeployment, Reality, RISK

SIERRA

Single parenting, Surprises, "Soon", Sweat, SADNESS

TANGO

Transitioning, Trust, TEARS

UNIFORM

Uniforms, Unstable, "Us", UNSTOPPABLE

VICTOR

V.A., Venting, Vibrator? (ha ha ha)

WHISKEY

Whiskey Tango Foxtrot, WINE (and sometimes WHINE)

X-RAY

XO

YANKEE

Yellow ribbons, YEARS

ZULU

Zip-ties, ZOLOFT

Goodnight Moon's SONG LINKUP week 7

Wow, already week SEVEN of Amber's music linkup!  Head on over to her blog, Goodnight Moon to link up!  Even if you decide not to post a song this week, you can check out all the cool songs already linked there.

In the past few weeks, I have found three 'new' (to me, anyway) artists that I LOVE, and several new blogs to follow, all thanks to this cool Linkup. (THANKS AMBER, YOU ROCK!)

So, a couple weeks ago I posted Beyonce's "Ave Maria", which is an awesome song to sing along to.  This week I am posting another twist of this song, by Pink.  "Ave Mary A" is a little different. 

OK, its alot different. 

I love this song, and sometimes it helps to sing shout along with this one to get me through heavy traffic, or boost my mood, etc.  It's even on my workout playlist on my iPod, because it's got a great beat.

I love the chorus, especially when she says "Help me let go of the chaos around me, the devil that hounds me, I need you to tell me CHILD BE STILL"

Oh, and of course I love Pink's voice.  I think she's f-ing perfect! HA HA HA  (love her new song by that name, but I want to buy the RADIO version so I can listen to sing along with it even if my kids are around.)

Thanks for stopping by, and don't forget to leave me a comment.  It only takes a second, I swear!  I don't even have that annoying captcha feature or anything, so comment away.....