long overdue UPDATE

I might just be the world's most pathetic blogger these days.....I can NOT believe I haven't posted a single update since announcing this pregnancy!  Well, that's all about to change, because at 33 weeks pregnant, I have been placed on BEDREST. Three days into this nonsense, I have a whole new respect for mommies everywhere who have endured this particular torture.

Anyway, to make this a proper update, I'll obviously have to include some pictures. First, the Senior Pictures of Bonehead (as promised like 8 months ago...SORRY!)

He's so handsome when he dresses up!  He turned 18 two months ago and moved out, but is currently crashing with my parents because he hasn't been able to find a JOB....well, aside from the one he's set to start in April: he enlisted in the NAVY, so now I am a NAVY MOM, in addition to being a MARINE WIFE. I do dread his impending departure to boot camp, but am holding my tears for his first deployment. Or trying to anyway. *sob*

As for Knucklehead, he is turning 13 tomorrow, and aside from a little bit of teenage attitude, he is still an absolutely AMAZING kid. Still pulling straight A's in school, including in band where he plays the coronet; still awesome in sports - especially basketball; and recently promoted in his Young Marines unit. (terrible picture of me, but at least you get a peek at my baby bump!)

Bobblehead still makes me smile constantly - he's 2 1/2 now and he can't wait to be a big brother! He moved into his new 'big boy room' a couple weeks ago, and of course LOVES it. I was hoping to have the nursery all re-done in time for this baby, but bedrest may make this impossible. Whenever I get it done, I'll definitely have to post some before & after pictures. But Bobblehead doesn't even seem to mind being displaced from his cherished 'monkey room' - hope the whole jealousy thing doesn't become a huge issue. I've never had kids so close together before, so I'm not sure how any of us will handle it!

As for baby # 5.....first of all, we had to find out the gender as soon as possible (I was so very impatient to know!)

Now that this has been established, we need to come up with a 'blog' name for the baby.....any ideas out there? Trying to stick with the 'head' theme (Since big sister is 'Airhead' here, and brothers are 'Bonehead', 'Knucklehead', & 'Bobblehead')

Coming up with an actual real-life name for him was tough, but we finally settled on a combination that will honor two fallen Marines who my husband went to IOC with - 2nd Lt. James Cathey, and 1st Lt. Sean Blue.  I'm super excited to meet this little one in a few weeks, especially since his 4D ultrasound shows he'll be another 'mini-me' for my hubs....he looks JUST like Knucklehead and Bobblehead!

We're still worried there may be health issues for this baby, even if he manages to stay inside for a few more weeks. We had a 'positive' AFP test early on that pointed to a 1 in 79 chance that he has Down Syndrome.  We didn't do amnio to confirm or deny this, so we're doing LOTS of extra monitoring while waiting for his arrival (and the doula in me is pretty darn sure that the stress of this extra monitoring is what led to the preterm labor scare that now has me on BEDREST. sadface.) As far as the risk of DS goes, this is more due to my 'advanced maternal age' than anything else, and of course there is still a 78 in 79 chance that he does NOT have DS...so we're hoping/praying for a healthy baby. If he has DS, his most likely complication at birth will be heart issues, which would require him to be life-flighted to a hospital about an hour away (by car). If any of the ultrasounds between now and birth show ANY hint of a heart problem, we'll probably just plan to deliver at that hospital, just to be safe. We have two local hospitals, one of which has a new NICU (neonatal intensive care unit) but even that won't be enough if he needs cardiac care right away.  Either way, I am still SO THANKFUL for my husband's civilian job, with GREAT health insurance that allows us the flexibility to give birth pretty much anywhere we choose.

I'll try to do a better job of keeping this blog updated in the meantime, since I am BORED TO TEARS with bedrest already. Looking forward to your suggestions for a blog name for the new baby!

Wife Swap (?)

I realize that I owe you all an update (yes, I actually AM aware of the passing of time in this crazy life of mine) but instead I am writing this in response to Kristle's recent SpouseBuzz article about Wife Swap (read her post HERE).

Having never actually watched an entire episode of Wife Swap, it is tough for me to say whether or not I would be willing to do this show (I am guessing NOT....and it is a moot point because Jarhead would NEVER agree to this!!!) however, even if I was willing to swap, and even if hubby agreed to it, I know for a fact that the show's producers could NEVER find anyone willing to take on my insane life for any period of time.

The manual I would have to leave for anyone so crazy would probably go something like this:


"Welcome to our insane asylum. If you did not bring your own meds, well sorry - you'll wish you had. If you feel the need to 'borrow' some, borrow mine, they're the BEST.  But they always run out, so good luck with that.  In an emergency, you can borrow my 'backup meds':

As you will notice when you enter our home, dust is a NOUN here, not a verb.  (it is something that is HERE, not something I DO)  If this bothers you, feel free to waste your time constantly shifting the never-ending supply of dust from one surface to another.  I prefer to spend my time tending to the needs of all the men in my life:




This is Jarhead.

He is always right. Don't question it, just know that he IS always right. He has a charming mix of Bi-polar symptoms and O.C.D., with A.D.D. tendencies and some violent anger outbursts thrown in for fun. I am pretty sure this is actually undiagnosed PTSD, unless maybe he is taking asshole pills behind my back.  DON'T POKE THIS BEAR.  He doesn't regularly take any meds, much to my dismay.  Your best bet is to provide timely meals that are at least a little appealing, with plenty of salt and cold Coke Zero.  Desserts help, too.  Serve with a remote control on the side, and stay out of his line of sight.  Do NOT, under any circumstances, make fun of his incessant channel surfing.  He is only home 3 out of every seven days, so just keep the peace while he's home, and you can breathe easier and stop walking on eggshells for four straight days.




This is Bonehead. 

He will be 18 in 149 days, but who's counting? He is ridiculously funny, but even more ridiculously inappropriate.  If you are easily offended, bring ear plugs or an iPod so you can ignore him.  99.9% of everything that comes out of his mouth is a meaningless joke, anyway.  He can be trusted to babysit the toddler for a few hours at a time, but be prepared to come home to this scene if you take advantage of this:

(yes, that is a baby asleep in a laundry hamper)

Bonehead can also be very violent if provoked, and stands a full 6' 4" so don't poke THIS bear, either.  His primary trigger is anyone mentioning his Asperger's Syndrome, or anything that he perceives to be a reference to this.  One recent meltdown started with me saying, "you would be good at X" because he assumed that my reason for thinking he would be good at it was because of his Asperger's.  Just give him something constructive to do each day, and give very clear & concise instructions. If you leave room for interpretation, YOU WILL GET his interpretation (and it won't match anything you could ever come up with on your own).  Ask him to show you his speed-solving skills with his Rubik's Cube - this is phenomenal to see, and he is always happy to show off.




This is Knucklehead.

He is our 'perfect child'.  Or was, until he hit middle school. Now he occasionally brings out a teenage attitude, but generally uses this to go pout in solitude.  He can be trusted to watch the toddler, but is not great about changing diapers - so limit your errands to 2 hours or less, if you leave Knucklehead in charge.  He will spend his free time playing videogames, shooting hoops at the park down the street, or playing with his little brother.  He is low-maintenance, but don't forget to give him some attention or you'll see that attitude I mentioned above.




This is Bobblehead.

He loves eggs and hates being told what to do.  He knows he is cute, so beware! He will use those dimples against you if he can.  He naps pretty well (finally!) and sleeps through the night, but is very dependent on certain routines and comfort items to make this happen.  See the 'sleep manual' provided in a separate volume. He wiggles during diaper changes, as he seems to think his purpose in life is to streak around the house naked.  He throws a mean tantrum, but can usually be distracted from a fit with a ball; any ball will work, but basketballs are his favorite. He also loves splashing in water... ANY kind of water (keep bathrooms off limits or he will play in the toilet)

His language has been a little slow to develop, but is now picking up, so you can expect him to learn hundreds of new words during your stay here.  Please don't teach him any four-letter-words, as I have worked very hard to curb my own swearing to keep him from repeating anything that might embarrass me, say, at church.  Or at the Christian Preschool where I teach (that's another whole manual there).  Bobblehead gives the BEST cuddles, so if there are no 'meds' or 'backup meds' in the house, his snuggly hugs and kisses should get you through the rough days.  They certainly do for me."

What would you put in your manual, if you went on Wife Swap? Post in the comments below, or better yet make a blog post about this and put the link in a comment below :)

As always, THANKS SO MUCH for reading!


   

checking in

I know I have not been on here in AWHILE (sorry again!) even though I said I would be back more regularly. Life has other plans for me than blogging, apparently.

*sigh*

My preschool job is going well, but it's been a long and difficult adjustment.  The hardest adjustment has been learning how to juggle all of my responsibilities in addition to working full time, but I also struggled with missing Bobblehead (whose class is right down the hall from mine, so at least I get to see him some throughout the day). Hubby started stepping in and helping with household stuff a few weeks ago, which has helped IMMENSELY. Well, except for the fact that I'm a bitchy control-freak and have a tendency to go behind him and re-do stuff that I determine he has done 'wrong'.  I'm getting better about letting go of this, but it is so hard!

I can't remember whether or not I announced on here my 'new career'.....I am now a trained Birth Doula!  I'm going through the process of certification through DONA International, and I expect to be certified by the end of this year. I don't know if I will ever make a LIVING doing this, but for now I want to offer my services for free to military mommies who are giving birth while hubby/boyfriend is deployed.  Bobblehead's birth during deployment effected me so profoundly, and I could NOT have done it without my amazing Doula.  Had she not been there, I am certain I would have had a cesarean!  The most I can reasonably commit to, time-wise, is one birth a month.  If I ever decide to quit my preschool job though, I can schedule as many as three births a month (hard to do, since we all know due-dates are ESTIMATED & babies rarely come ON their due date!) and if I do civilian births, doulas in my area are charging $750 to $1000 per birth.  Hourly, this breaks down to anywhere from $20 to $50 per hour depending on the length of that mommy's labor, but it is still a PART TIME job, so I think I would have to start teaching childbirth classes or breastfeeding classes or something to fill in the financial gap. ANYWAY, that's really jumping the gun!  For now I am just really enjoying helping mommies welcome their little ones into the world.  I don't have any clients scheduled to deliver in June, but I have a July birth lined up already, as well as August & October.  I might have a September birth scheduled, but that mommy has not gotten back to me yet.  (if you know a military mommy on or near Pendleton who is due in September & can't afford a doula, have her contact me in case I can help her for free!  Priority will be given to a mommy whose hubby will be deployed or far away for training at the time of the birth, but that's not a requirement at this point)

My home life & marriage is still a full time job in itself, but it is still going.  At least I haven't been 'fired' and I'm sure as hell not about to QUIT!  Hubby and I are working through some of our issues, and trying to take time to enjoy the kids.  Bonehead will be moving out sometime in the next couple of months, but his actual plans keep changing.  Part of me hopes he follows through with his plans to enlist, but part of me prays he finds a civilian job instead. Knucklehead continues to impress everyone with his stellar academics (straight A's again!) and his extracurricular activities (basketball, band, and Young Marines) and Bobblehead is growing like a weed - still not talking much at 20 months, but learning new 'tricks' every day.

I'd love to commit to updating this blog at least weekly, but all the things I want to write about are the things that KEEP me from having time for blogging!  Our ongoing struggle with undiagnosed PTSD, the longest reintegration in history, my weight battles, my depression/anxiety issues, and the everyday adventure of raising all these boys are all EXTREMELY time consuming.  So forgive me if it is a long time before you hear from me, but thanks for coming back every time I do - it means more than you know.

(HUGS!)

why I love blogging (a.k.a. UPDATE)

WOW, has it really been a whole month since my last post??? Makes sense, I guess, since it has also been a whole month since I started working full-time again.  I'm finally adjusting (SORTA) to my new schedule, but working full time is a lot harder than I remember it being!  True, the last time I worked full-time I was 3 years younger......and didn't have a toddler to care for.  But seriously, some nights I can't even summon the energy to pour a much-needed glass of wine!  Oh, who the hell am I kidding, there is ALWAYS enough energy for the wine!  My nightly wine habit is back, and it is SERIOUSLY effecting my bottom line, both literally and figuratively.

I am still supposed to be training to run my first ever half-marathon, but have not made time to run DAILY like I need to - especially since the race I originally planned to run (Disney Half Marathon in September) already sold out, and the only other viable option for me to meet my goal of completing a half THIS YEAR is to do the Fontana Days Half Marathon in early June.  This one costs a lot less, and is an all-flat course, but how in the HELL am I supposed to be ready in just 8 freaking weeks?!?! GAH!  I did another 5K race in early March, shaving 4 full minutes off my October race time.

Three weeks later I did this one in Palm Springs, with a goal of finishing four minutes FASTER than my new personal best time, but instead I added 15 seconds.  I could blame the gnarly cold we've all been passing around for about 5 weeks now, but in reality, this was strictly due to lack of training.  I only ran ONCE in the week before that last race, and didn't run well at all.

I've actually started gaining weight, probably due IN PART to the wine I drink every night to cope with this job (I might love it some day, but for now.....NOT SO MUCH) but in reality it is more likely due to the 2 or 3 times a week FAST FOOD habit that also returned when I started working again, and the fact that my workouts are inconsistent at best.  I weighed 272 lbs when I signed up for Valley's Biggest Loser last summer, and finished the 3 month contest in December weighing 218.  I got down below 215 once or twice, but have mostly bounced between 216 and 220 since December.  Today, I weigh 225 stark naked. :(  I am SOOOOO not willing to ever go back to being that WHALE that I was for more than ten freaking years! I'm doing an informal weight loss competition with a couple of girls from work - we each put in $20 and weighed in this week, and we'll weigh in again May 1 - the person who loses the highest PERCENTAGE of their weight will keep all the cash.  I'm hoping my competitive self will now come out and kick the crap out my stressed-out-emotional-eating self.  That fat bitch has NO PLACE in my new life!

Speaking of my new life.......

My hubs has been home for a few weeks, and is making some progress.  I wish I could say everything is GREAT now that he's in counseling, but that would be a blatant lie.  In truth, some days feel WORSE than before, but mostly we are at least moving forward.  Sometimes we are INCHING forward, but still moving forward.



Remember that "Ugliest Backyard" contest I asked you all to help me with back in January?  Well I WON, with 40% more votes than the next nearest contender!!!!!  The prize was $5000 in goods & services from System Pavers, which was exactly how much we were 'short' when we had them out for a bid in December.  Thanks to that contest, we were finally able to move forward with our patio project, and my back patio went from this:

to THIS:

AWESOME, right?  The yard is not completely done, but the System Pavers portion is.....it only took them 2 1/2 days!!!  The air conditioner unit has been moved back to its spot since this picture was taken, and we've built planters all around the fence, and put in a lemon tree and an orange tree.  Now I need to finish building Bobblehead's custom sandbox, and put up a fence in the dirt side-yard for my doggy, and then of course add some actual patio furniture.  My new neighbors might also sell me their granite-topped BBQ island that they had from their old house, since it is too big for their new backyard.  If not, we still at least have a cart-style gas BBQ in good condition, so we can start grilling ALL. THE. TIME.   :)

Bobblehead already LOVES this new living space, and SO DO I!  So, bloggy friends, thank you SO MUCH for voting for my hideous backyard!

So, lets see....New job, new backyard, and new start with hubby.  Now I just need a new dose of MOTIVATION to lose weight, and I'll be all set, right?  Well, my 38th birthday is four weeks away, and that was originally my goal date for reaching my GOAL WEIGHT of 145 lbs.....clearly not gonna make that, but since the date is approaching, maybe I will use THAT for some pressure/motivation.

I'll try to update you all here BEFORE that, but if I don't, well be sure to check back here after I turn 38!

be careful what you wish for (and Happy Valentine's Day)

In April 2009, when it seemed my entire life was upside down, I lost my job as a preschool director.  I had been with that agency for over two years, and was miserable for at least the last year of it because of the difference between my personal philosophy and that of my bosses (yes, bossES, as in, plural.  Another headache there).

Anyway, I looked for another preschool job, initially focusing on administrative positions, but broadening my search fairly quickly to include applying for entry-level on up.  I was repeatedly told that I was 'overqualified' for so many jobs, before finally landing my current VERY PART TIME job as a school crossing guard.  Somehow my degree and credential did NOT over-qualify me for holding up a stop sign in a crosswalk for an hour every morning and another hour in the afternoon. (?)

I was 4 months pregnant with Bobblehead when I was hired for this job, so I was happy that it was so part-time.  I've kept my ear to the ground since then for a PRESCHOOL job, but wasn't searching very aggressively because I knew we didn't have many QUALITY infant/toddler child care programs in the area for my little Bobblehead.  Once he is 18 months old, our selection of viable child care choices becomes HUGE, so I started applying like crazy for everything I could a couple weeks ago. (Bobblehead is now 17 months old).

One position that I applied for was a Preschool Director position a couple towns away....about a 30 minute commute if there's no traffic.  The neighborhood is bad, the school is in a very SAD state of disrepair, and the owners don't seem to know what they're doing.  They have 30 children enrolled right now, in a program that is licensed for over 150 children!  Still, I was up for the challenge and they seemed to really WANT me, especially after I talked to them about marketing ideas, curriculum implementation, etc during my second interview with them.  They have an infant/toddler program there, though the quality is, well. QUESTIONABLE.  As the director, I would definitely have the power to turn that around, but still I was not exactly ANXIOUS to bring Bobblehead there.  I told myself I could work around that, maybe have my sister watch him for the first month or so while I worked to get the program into shape.  I just wanted the job so bad!  Unfortunately, they were only willing to offer about HALF of what I expected to earn there, so it was not a winning proposition for me.  I don't know who they finally hired to do that job, but she has an uphill battle ahead of her! (Especially since the owners clearly are not willing to spend any money to make money with this program)

I applied for several other positions, had LOTS of great job interviews, and finally this week hit paydirt....sorta.  Our valley's one-and-only QUALITY program for infants and toddlers opened just a couple months ago, and they are rapidly growing and filling that part of the school as word gets out that they're there.  They advertised looking for a qualified Infant teacher to accommodate that growth, so naturally I was interested!  Not administrative, but a GREAT program for my baby Bobblehead, so definitely something I wanted. Bad.

I wore this to the interview:

(I was going for professional, but approachable, and my hair was totally AWESOME that day, which must have helped...)

I totally NAILED the interview!  So much so, that they actually called me within about two hours after I left, to offer me the job......but NOT the Infant Room job I interviewed for.  I will actually be teaching TWO-YEAR-OLDS (my least favorite age to work with, besides of course TEENAGERS. Teenagers are the worst).  The pay is mere peanuts for someone with my experience and qualifications, but they offered me a whopping 75% discount for Bobblehead's tuition there!  That's what made it a no-brainer to accept the job, since the SAVINGS in child care costs adds up to $9000/year of income-in-kind, TAX FREE.  Also, the two-year-olds class placement for me is TEMPORARY, since they won't let me be Bobblehead's teacher, and he will be moving into the Two's room in September.  They're not sure where they'll move me in the fall, but they're working on that... frankly I don't care, ANY position will be better than teaching two-year-olds!  I don't mind the diapering, and have an infinite amount of patience for little ones......but two year olds are just so.....INTENSE.  I'll be sure to update you all in a few weeks (I start the job March 1).

Oh yeah, did I mention this whole interview/job offer whirlwind happened on Valentine's Day?  I was worried that the stress of that whole thing could ruin our evening, but not to worry - my teenager Bonehead was one step ahead, ruining our entire WEEK.  He took off again that afternoon after a particularly heated exchange with my husband, and has not been home since.  He has called me twice, and I know where he spent the first couple of nights (not sure where he slept last night).  He is *technically* a 'runaway' right now, but I haven't reported him to police or anything.  I know he is safe (for now) but more than that, I am not rushing to get him home because I don't know how to deal with him any more!  I do know that anything I do to try to exert any kind of control over him will just push him further away.  I'm still gun-shy after what happened with my daughter 4 years ago (she is STILL not speaking to me after I took away her car to get her to stop ditching school in the beginning of her Senior year of high school).  I'm hoping Bonehead will calm down and come home on his own, and since we have a four-day weekend right now, he has plenty of time to do that.  He is such a  pain in the butt most of the time, but when he's NOT being a pain, he is so awesome with his baby brother!  Bobblehead really enjoys running around and playing with him, and Bonehead is the ONLY one who can get him to keep his superhero masks on long enough for a picture.

Back to my Valentine's though.....hubby gave me my gift a day early, a new iPad 2!  My old iPad was pretty beat up after two years of being dropped frequently, so I am thrilled with my gift.  I think hubby also REALLY liked his gift....Pinup photos of me!  

I can't post most of them here, even though they're all 'tasteful'.  I had so much fun taking the photos, and I know that hubby likes the more confident and sexy 'me' that came out of that whole process.  Definitely doing another set for him after I get to my goal weight/size! And as for our ruined evening, we decided on a raincheck to go out for a nice romantic dinner WITH NO KIDS.  Update on that later, too.  (or NOT *wink wink*)

Hope you all enjoyed some sweet lovin this week!  for my milspouse followers, I know many of you wish you could just SEE your man for special days......but while he's out there saving the world, you'll have to settle for posting something like this on your FB to make your civilian friends jealous:

Ugliest Backyard Contest

I never do this, but this is SO IMPORTANT to me, I am breaking my own rule.  I am using my blog to BEG for your help to win a contest!

Our backyard is dangerous & hideous.  We are the first owners of this home, and of course the front yard was already landscaped when we bought the house.  We knew it might be awhile until we could afford to do the backyard, but when new next-door-neighbors moved in, we took a leap and ended up hiring their contractor to do our backyard. We had to borrow money from family, and then this crooked contractor DISAPPEARED with our $6,000.00!  (he also screwed my neighbors out of $3000) This was five years ago, and now we've added Baby Bobblehead to our family - so we REALLY NEED A USABLE BACKYARD.

System Pavers here in so-cal is holding a contest on FB for the "Ugliest Backyard" they can find.  The winner gets $5000 toward a backyard makeover from System Pavers!  We had them out for a bid a couple weeks ago, and with all of the discounts we can qualify for, the cheapest we can get our patio/walkway done is $15,000.  We've qualified to finance $10,000 so winning this contest will close the gap and get us a patio that Baby Bobblehead can enjoy every day.

You have to be a Facebook user to vote for me - but you can vote EVERY DAY between now and February 29, 2012.  (And I will love you forever if you do!)

Here are step-by-step instructions - this only takes about 15 seconds if you have decent internet connection:

1. Go "Like" the System Pavers FB page HERE.

2. After you 'like' the page, click the link on the left that says
"Ugliest Backyard Contest"

3. The contest form will come up, look for the "Click Here to Vote" button and CLICK it.

4. Scroll down until you see the picture of MY ugly backyard, with my name "GAILE GONZALES" next to it, and click "like it"

THAT'S IT!  If you have a few extra seconds to share this with your facebook friends, I would sure apreciate it.  (make sure you don't just go through the regular photo album and 'like' my photo, as this will NOT COUNT.  Only votes submitted through the "vote" page will count.

Please vote, and come back often to vote more over the next few weeks - we REALLY REALLY REALLY need to win this!

This adorable little man really deserves a chance to run around and play outside, don't you think?

smiles

I know my posts have lacked a certain 'positive' quality lately, but that is because my life seems to lack the same.  But not really.  I mean, when I really think about it, there are a lot of great moments in my life, every single day.

OK, well ALMOST every single day.

So, to balance out my whining, complaining, crazy posts, here is a sampling of the things that made me smile this week:

1. Hubby sent me a text message while at work, to thank me for helping him with something. The message included lots of X's and O's, and he said I was a DOLL.  He never says stuff like this, so it really made me smile.

2. I took the boys to the beach and got to spend 3 blissful relaxing hours with THIS:

How can you do anything but smile at that sweet face?

3. I made these EPIC cookies this week:

Yes, those are double-stuff oreos inside the chocolate chip cookies.
I am playing with the recipe a little, and will do a recipe post as soon as I have it where I want it. But this first batch was, well, EPIC.

4. I also made hubby some fantastic cake balls this week.  Sort of a late birthday cake, because last week on his actual birthday I tried to make Rachel Ray's brownie waffles (or waffle brownies?) and it was a total FAIL.  So I think these made up for it:

5. I got my hair cut this week, for the first time in 8 months.  I'm posting a before and after pic (don't mind my puffy, makeup-free face.....I did a fair amount of crying before this particular smile, and have not been getting enough sleep.  And the lack of makeup, well it has been hotter than a donkey's balls here this week - any makeup I put on will just disappear as I sweat, so I didn't even bother.)

I'm hoping that next week I will have an even LONGER list of things that made me smile. Isn't that something we should all hope for?

GRILLED BURRITOS

I'm still a bit bummed about having to kill off the weekly video linkup, but I have another idea that I want to run by you all - what about a recipe swap linkup?

I've shared several recipes here before, and when I can I like to include photographs.  Here's the "grilled burrito" recipe I made for my family last night:

ingredients:
2 boneless, skinless chicken breasts
1 can cooked pinto beans
1 1/2 cups grated cheese
1/2 cup sour cream
8 small flour tortillas
2 Tbsp taco seasoning mix
1 cup water
chopped onion
BUTTER (not margarine)

1. chop and cook chicken breasts in a covered nonstick pan, using a few tablespoons of water if needed.  Add onions and taco seasoning, with remaining water, cover and simmer on low heat.

2. while chicken seasons, assemble the other ingredients & open the can of beans.  I like to arrange the ingredients in bowls in the order they will go into each burrito - sour cream, then beans, then cheese.  In this case, the chicken will go in between the sour cream and the beans.

3. uncover chicken and stir, cooking until the water is mostly gone.

4. heat tortillas on low heat on a griddle/skillet (this allows them to roll easier)

5. spread a spoonful of sour cream onto a warmed tortilla, then add chicken, beans, and cheese. Fold top and bottom ends of tortilla in first, then roll the sides, keeping it tight enough to hold itself together through the final grilling step.  Repeat this process for each of the remaining burritos, and stack them all on a large plate.

6. spread butter along the tops of the burritos.  You can use a little, or a lot - play with it to get the effect you want.

7. pre-heat your griddle or skillet to HIGH (the same one you used to warm the tortillas should be fine) and place the burritos on it, butter side down.  If you don't hear an immediate 'sizzle' when the first burrito makes contact, then your pan is not hot enough. 

8. Butter the second side of the burritos (now facing up) and then flip them all.  The cooking time for each side should not exceed one minute, so the burritos will be a crispy GOLDEN brown.

9. Once the second side is against the pan, you can turn off the burner and let the burritos cook with the heat left in the pan.  If you've used A LOT of butter, like I did last night, then you may want to place a paper towel on the serving platter before moving the burritos.

10. Serve with chips and salsa, or a side of spanish rice.

**variations: try using ground turkey or ground beef for the meat; try different types of beans - refried, or black beans, etc.

I am not including an official linkup on this post, but if you have a recipe post (even if it's an old post somewhere in your archives) that you'd like to share, please paste the URL into a comment below.  

If I do a weekly recipe linkup, will you participate?  If so, which day of the week are you MOST LIKELY to participate?

THANKS EVERYONE, for reading, commenting, and especially those of you who share your links!